Chala Murari Heroine Dhoondne

This could turn out to be a philosophical post…so the impatient ones bugger off.

I’d gone for the auditions to the reality show. It’s called Zing Ne Bana Di Jodi. Yeah people you got that right. Someone had commented to my previous post accusing me to be a copycat. But mon ami, lemme tell you, this world is full of copycats. Look at this show that I so desperately want to be a part of – the title is ripped off the recent SRK blockbuster! So why blame me alone? Atleast I’m man enough to accept it outright!

That’s enough preaching! Now more about the auditions. I walk into the offices of Zee Muzic (which now calls itself Zing) and I was given out a form and a script. I got to tell you guys … it’s a pretty chilled out office.

The guys who took my audition were wannabes … wannabe Rowdy Rams. One even sported a goatee like him! But he wasn’t that mean. The other one, a tall strapping manoos, was a mean bastard. He kept bugging me … and he was a belligerent MNS type! He wouldn’t allow me to speak in English!

Allright guys check this out. If I get selected (which am sure I will) I’ll be paired with a hottie for 3 months! Yaaaahhoooooo! What a desperate loser I am, aint’ I? One of the questions they asked me was am I open to kissing a girl on the show? What a stupid Q! Would any guy in his right mind say no to such a mouthwatering proposition? But lemme stop..i’m becoming outright lascivious!

There were these guys waiting to audition and one of them thought he looked like Triple H! Our Desi Hunk wasn’t able to figure out the questions ‘coz they were all in English! So he copied it out from my questionnaire! See how the Indian education system helps us in the long run! There also one HOT HOT girl who walked in for the audition as I was about to leave. I wanted to stay back and chat her up, like, you know, “hey there wazza, where are ya from?” But being the gutless, imagination-less loser that I am, I just walked out…gawking at the girl all the way out!

I hope they take me on the show. And I hope I get paired with that girl…And I sure as hell wish I get to kiss her!

An Inspired Begining

I aint a leader…I do not have either the guts or the imagination to be one. But all my life I’ve been a pretty good follower. I’ve followed more than one cause (and often contrasting ones) together, as I’ve never quite bothered delve into the intricacies of ideologies and causes. I’d rather invest my time in TV, Playstation and the net.

And its here, on the net, where I’ve picked up my latest Guru…FIP! I find many similarities between us…we both revel in our “loser” status and both of us are part of something grand…ummm…I’m trying (and hope) to be part of one. It’s a new reality show and completely disconnected with cricket and I will go for the auditions on Thursday. So this gives me the chance to be a much talked about FIP of reality shows…FRC – Fake Reality Contestant! And Times of India could do a story on me too!

I have always wanted to be a part of a reality show. Not the singing and dancing types (of course by now you must have gathered that I posses no such talent), but the other type – the adventure and bitching type. In these shows, I am fully convinced, I can just about hang around for dear life to make it to the top 5. I can not think of anything clever to say in the bitching sessions and I don’t have the balls to be aggressive, so I wouldn’t be an abominable prick (though I do envy the abominable pricks – man do they have confidence!). And since I can’t seem to shake the sloth off me even if my life depends on it, I am sure I would be a disaster at the tasks. Ergo, I’m sure I can slink to the final stages of the show.

Now, the hardest part is to get selected for the show. But there’s one relief – I wouldn’t have to face the bald wannabe baddie of Indian reality - Rowdy Ram*. I am all very confident that I’ll get selected. Methinks I’ll do a puja before going though, just to be doubly sure.

* The “Ram” used here denotes the battering mountain goat and does not refer to the Hindu God. So my Hindu brothers, please don’t flood me with hate comments.